Why bother? Especially if you’re always two steps behind a mountain of work. Why on earth would you want to add to your workload?
But for me, it all came down to one thing: I need to learn to find my voice. And I don’t mean that nasty little voice saying “Who are you to tell people how to think?”
For months I’ve been meaning to start drafting an article that presents a conceptual framework for thinking about how habitat fragmentation contributes to population declines through restricting movements, but to date I have not written one word. I’ve had some great reasons for not writing. I’ve been flat out in the field. I’ve been preparing for my first year milestone – the confirmation proposal and presentation. But what it really comes down to is that I’m just plain scared of putting my voice out there and being judged on what I say. Why should experienced scientists listen to me? I should be listening to them.
Except there’s a big problem with my thinking. Successful researchers can’t hide away. Science is founded on ideas, debate, refinement. I can’t wait until I attain some magical status as an experienced, knowledgeable, official researcher accepted by the scientific community before presenting my ideas. I need to learn to present them now. As a 2nd year PhD student. A PhD is a training ground. An apprenticeship. A time to learn to be open to vulnerability and master the things you’re most afraid of as a scientist-to-be.
So today I’m starting a blog to give myself a voice. Face vulnerability head on. And tomorrow? Well, watch out conceptual-framework-paper. Prepare to be tackled.